lyrics page 
Beautiful Confusion Songs
(all songs, music and words by Ellen “Dudley” Turner, copyright 2026)
- Beautiful Confusion
- Deliverance
- Can I Imagine
- Hope Driving
- Spellbound
- Nothing Had Happened
- Right There
- Sad Sad Man
- 3000 Miles
- Song of Joy
- Sweet Idea
- Run With It
- I Can’t Stand It
- What Wonders
- Does it Look Like Love?
- Blessing of Choice
Beautiful Confusion
(by Ellen Dudley Turner)
Winter has come and with the weather changing
My thoughts on love are also rearranging –
Just a body for warmth, one other heart to share love.
It takes the bitter cold to show me being together is enough.
You know it’s shocking
It’s shocking to my heart
How I run from imperfection
Always looking for a missing part
But there’s a beautiful confusion to it all.
Springtime comes on strong
Playing with my senses
I want to taste the grass on the other sides of fences.
I’m restless with new feeling
I’m bursting at the seams
and logic takes a backseat to passion and extremes.
You know it’s shocking
It’s shocking to my heart
How I run from imperfection
Always looking for a missing part
But there’s a beautiful confusion to it all.
Do I want what I try to get? Oh, I’m not so sure. I move and make tidal waves, and I am not so sure.
And you know it’s shocking, it’s shocking to my heart
How I run from imperfection, always looking for a missing part.
But there’s a beautiful confusion to it all.
I think I’ll heed my wisdom – it’s high time I did.
I know that inner voice now
I have new faith in it.
Now, to get it from the inside
into the outside world.
From the inside to the outside… to the outside.
Deliverance
(by Ellen Dudley Turner)
I’ve seen you tear your hair out
At the cruelty of your fate.
Why don’t you let your hair alone
And deal with what’s on your plate?
Grant yourself deliverance
Grant yourself deliverance
Deliverance in your mind.
You think of those who are suffering
Or dying of a vicious disease
And you know that you are better off
But still, you’re on your knees.
Grant yourself deliverance
Grant yourself deliverance
Deliverance in your mind.
You need a little help from something bigger
You need help to see the bigger picture.
Cause you take yourself to hell you know
When you could go heavenward
And the force is very strong in you
But your will has the final word.
Grant yourself deliverance
Grant yourself deliverance
Deliverance in your mind.
Yeah, you’re doin’ it, you’re doin’ it, oh! You’re doin’ it, un huh, yeah, uh huh.
Can I Imagine
(by Ellen Dudley Turner)
Terror in a frozen pen
Give me five but take me ten.
I want to fly, unlimited dance
Come into sweet, internal romance.
What if I won, and then always were there?
Can I imagine?
I want everything alright
Like the magic of this night.
I want to fly, unlimited dance
Come into sweet, internal romance.
What if I won, and then always were there?
Can I imagine?
Bones and entrails on the floor
And the wind is at my door.
What is it that I’m here for?
That which bleeds a soul for more.
Thawing of a frozen pen,
Tiny movement now and then.
I want to fly, unlimited dance
Come into sweet, internal romance.
What if I won, and then always were there?
Can I imagine?
As I kneel here quietly
Flowers growing at my knee
Hidden in a hollow there
That which breathes a soul aware.
Hope Driving
(by Ellen Dudley Turner)
Where am I going – why?
Mind can’t cross that great, grey sky.
Not without hope, not without hope.
I’m so ready to change, though it may take a long, long time.
I’m not without hope, I’m not without hope.
Hope, don’t ride along, sidecar.
Take the wheel and show me where we are.
Don’t hold back. Don’t be shy.
Choose a path, don’t flinch.
Though it’s in no way a cinch.
It’s easier when your mind is clear,
when your mind is in the now and here.
Hope, don’t ride along, side car. Take the wheel and show me where we are.
Don’t hold back. Don’t be shy.
Don’t hold back. Don’t be shy.
Nothing Had Happened
(by Ellen Dudley Turner)
Nothing had happened ‘til we started to play,
Nothing had happened, hadn’t happened all day.
Nothing had happened ‘til we started to play music, music, music.
We went down to the 16th Century town, with those Belgian boys with their shirts buttoned down to their navels. I wasn’t able to focus.
Nothing had happened ‘til we started to play,
Nothing had happened, hadn’t happened all day.
Nothing had happened ‘til we started to play music, music, music.
I love the sound that comes out of you. Our sound, together, is more than true. And we are able to focus.
Nothing had happened ‘til we started to play,
Nothing had happened, hadn’t happened all day.
Nothing had happened ‘til we started to play music, music, music.
Well it may be that something had to go, in order for the music still to flow.
It doesn’t seem to need a perfect soul, and we’re still able to focus.
Nothing had happened ‘til we started to play,
Nothing had happened, hadn’t happened all day.
Nothing had happened ‘til we started to play music, music, music.
Run With It
(Ellen Dudley Turner)
I know it’s early for you, but it’s getting very late for me.
I wanted just to hear your voice, get a feel for possibility.
And though I know it’s never there, never there, no, never where I look,
Even though it’s always been evasive, love has got me ever on its hook.
And I know it, yes, I know it.
You leave me like that, lying there, staring at the bloody wall.
I open up under its care and try to not need you at all.
There’s a reason that I can’t let go, and adoration is the key.
Summer breeze and then winter snow, ‘cause you had it, didn’t, not for me.
And I know it; yes, I know it.
I want to run with it, cast me in there, see what comes up for me from under down there.
Yeah, I want to run with it and see what comes up. To plaster my walls with it, to run and give out from it. Oh…
I leave me like that, lying there, staring at the bloody wall. I open up under its care. In truth, I don’t need you at all. There’s a reason that I can let go, and love has always been the key. And the key was always in my keeping for a lock that’s hidden deep in me.
And I know it; yes, I know it.
I want to run with it, cast me in there, see what comes up for me from under down there.
Yeah, I want to run with it and see what comes up. To plaster my walls with it, to run and get strong from it. Oh…
Sad, Sad Man
(Ellen Dudley Turner)
He’s a sad, sad man
Who doesn’t understand
And that’s why his hand grabs a dagger when it can
And that’s why his hand must be stayed.
He’s an old man, now
And he’s sad, somehow.
He can’t go too deep inside
Beyond his own hurt pride,
And he makes us all to suffer alongside.
All the bad men were sad men at the start
But don’t yield to them from pity though you mourn them in your heart.
It’s a sad, sad man
Who poisons our sweet land
With a hunger for more power
Though in his stomach it turns sour.
It’s a sad, sad man
Who says he’ll protect our land
By watching what we read
For dangerous tendency
He’s scary with that axe, he must not pass.
He’s a sad, sad man
Who doesn’t understand
And that’s why his hand grabs a dagger when it can
And that’s why his hand must be stayed.
3000 Miles
(Ellen Dudley Turner)
Three thousand miles, three thousand miles, three thousand miles from home. If home is where your heart, your heart is baby, my home is where you are. I’ll find my way back, I’ll find my way back, I’ll find my way back home. I’ll find my way back home.
A million miles, a million miles, a million miles from home. Each one of us feels, when we are born here, a million miles from home. We’ll find our way back, we’ll find our way back, we’ll find our way back home. We’ll find our way back home.
What then is home? Is it where you hang your hat? Is it where your friends are at? Is it where you feed your cat?
Three thousand miles that I have travelled to find my way to you. If home is where your heart is baby, my home is where you are. I found my way back, I found my way back, I found my way back home. I found my way back home.
Oh, home…
Song of Joy
(Ellen Dudley Turner)
Sing a song of joy, why don’t you? You know you can. Though laughable a joy position, still more laughable the sorrow you’d been wishing would go and go and never come back. It’s your modus operandi under attack.
Sing a song of joy, you know you can. Take off from your present elevation: sea level, to cloud level – you have a standing invitation. But the simplest things will get you down. And the littlest things can make you cry. And sometimes you feel like a warden of your will when you force yourself and force yourself and force yourself to try.
Sing a song of joy you know you can. It’s the little things that come along and get you through it. Not just getting through, not just getting around – it’s the little things that make the sweetest sound.
Hallelujah….
… now it’s getting to you.
Sing a song of joy, you know you can. Pull it out from down inside with your own hands. And hold it out as precious, fragile proof that it’s alive and real as sorrow, also just as true.
Hallelujah….
Sweet Idea
(Ellen Dudley Turner)
I had an idea like a plant that needs water
And under some showers it grew.
But the sun came along, and he finished the song, the song of a budding idea.
I had an umbrella, but shelter was useless
To grow was all one should desire.
But desire was useless like rain that falls, listless, from soggy grey cleaning rag sky.
I had an idea, a sweet idea
A garden of lovely design
But I drove into town and was fooling around with paper and pencils and dry water fountains,
drier than mountains of home.
Run With It
(Ellen Dudley Turner)
I know it’s early for you, but it’s getting very late for me.
I wanted just to hear your voice, get a feel for possibility.
And though I know it’s never there, never there, no, never where I look,
Even though it’s always been evasive, love has got me ever on its hook.
And I know it, yes, I know it.
You leave me like that, lying there, staring at the bloody wall.
I open up under its care and try to not need you at all.
There’s a reason that I can’t let go, and adoration is the key.
Summer breeze and then winter snow, ‘cause you had it, didn’t, not for me.
And I know it; yes, I know it.
I want to run with it, cast me in there, see what comes up for me from under down there.
Yeah, I want to run with it and see what comes up. To plaster my walls with it, to run and give out from it. Oh…
I leave me like that, lying there, staring at the bloody wall. I open up under its care. In truth, I don’t need you at all. There’s a reason that I can let go, and love has always been the key. And the key was always in my keeping for a lock that’s hidden deep in me.
And I know it; yes, I know it.
I want to run with it, cast me in there, see what comes up for me from under down there.
Yeah, I want to run with it and see what comes up. To plaster my walls with it, to run and get strong from it. Oh…
I Can’t Stand It But I Want It
(Ellen Dudley Turner)
I can’t stand it but I want it
I can’t want it but I stand it
I want candy but can’t stand it, after.
I stand candid but why flaunt it?
I can’t flaunt it so I can it.
I flaunt campy but can’t plan it after.
I plan canny but I’m daunted
I feel haunted and I’m clammy
I want mammy but I’m stunted after.
I can’t stand it, but I want it.
I stand candid but why flaunt it?
I can’t stand it but I want it
I can’t want it but I stand it
I want candy but can’t stand it, after.
I stand candid but why flaunt it?
I can’t flaunt it so I can it.
I flaunt campy but can’t plan it after.
I plan canny but I’m daunted
I feel haunted and I’m clammy
I want mammy but I’m stunted after.
I Can’t Stand It But I Want It
(Ellen Dudley Turner)
I can’t stand it but I want it
I can’t want it but I stand it
I want candy but can’t stand it, after.
I stand candid but why flaunt it?
I can’t flaunt it so I can it.
I flaunt campy but can’t plan it after.
I plan canny but I’m daunted
I feel haunted and I’m clammy
I want mammy but I’m stunted after.
I can’t stand it, but I want it.
I stand candid but why flaunt it?
I can’t stand it but I want it
I can’t want it but I stand it
I want candy but can’t stand it, after.
I stand candid but why flaunt it?
I can’t flaunt it so I can it.
I flaunt campy but can’t plan it after.
I plan canny but I’m daunted
I feel haunted and I’m clammy
I want mammy but I’m stunted after.
What Wonders
(Ellen Dudley Turner)
What wonders wait for you
What treasures will be new?
Have you an idea – how does it come to you?
That’s something and you know it’s true
What has happened, what’s beginning for you
You have made it, and you can take it away.
Not to waste all, you cover up your sword.
And what remains touches you even more than before… even more.
Names don’t touch you
Sticks and stones, yes, they touch you.
Can’t be sure, reactions vary very much.
Name your prize, girl
It’s a sparkle in your eyes.
Understand, understand your rights.
Not to waste all, you cover up your sword.
And what remains touches you even more than before… even more.
Does it Look Like Love
(Ellen Dudley Turner)
So, you say you have new faith. Why then, why do you hide away?
Well, if you want to know what you really believe, just watch what you do and look for what lies underneath. Does it look like love?
So, you know a better way. Why then is it so hard to persuade us?
If we want to know what you really believe, we’ll watch what you do and look for what lies underneath. Does it look like love?
If you believe something different from the words you preach, how do you dig under that core and plant something better, something to believe in, something more like love?
So, you want to love your neighbor. First off, do yourself the same favor. And if you want to change what you really believe, just watch what you do and look for lies underneath. Does it look like love?
Love…
Blessing of Choice
(Ellen Dudley Turner)
Blessed is the man who wanders accidentally into something fine.
Fine like a painting he’d wanted to climb into to feel its color and line.
Oh could it be a blessing doesn’t have to be so accidental – maybe it’s a choice to make. Oh could it be I think it could, and here and there I’m making good. It’s a chance I’m willing to take.
Blessed is the woman who stumbles accidentally into a lighter frame of mind. Stumbles, crumbles and tumbles her way into something that is completely sublime.
Oh could it be a blessing doesn’t have to be so accidental – maybe it’s a choice to make. Oh could it be I think it could, and here and there I’m making good. It’s a chance I’m willing to take.
Blessed is the person who’s thankful and not bitter about the way life goes. And who doesn’t have to stumble or wander blindly into it, because she lives what she knows – that a blessing doesn’t have to be so accidental, no, maybe it’s a choice to make. Oh could it be I think it could, and here and there I’m making good. It’s a chance I’m willing to take.
All songs copyright 2026, words and music by Ellen Dudley Turner
